Sunday, February 15, 2009
My morning starts like many other average Americans. I'm pulled out of bed by the piercing shriek of the alarm clock. Weak hands rub tired eyes as I try to navigate myself to the bathroom in near pitch black hallways. The refreshing blast of cold water wipes off the dried liquids that form to my face overnight. I'm able to throw on some clothes and strap up my boots to make the short walk to my frozen car. After a few coughs and moans it wakes up with a mild roar. The commute takes a little over a half our to get to the office, where my designated parking spot is waiting patiently. I receive good mornings from my colleagues as I make my way to the locker room to change to my worn out work scrubs. Everything is emptied from my pockets in my jeans to my solid navy blue pants, and my matching buttoned up shirt where I am labeled as Henry. I stand in front of my boss as I wait for my first patient. "Your first patient is right this way" says Matt as he walks me to where Mrs. Mercedes is resting. "It says here that you stepped on a nail" I say to the mid-thirty woman, she replies, "yeah" with a wincing expression on her face. I reach into a chest where all of my polished stainless steel tool reside. With my pliers tightly gripping the nail, I tell Mrs. Mercedes, "This might hurt" and I yank the nail from her foot. Blood begins to pour out but I manage to clean up the hole and patch it up. I clean up my tools and let my boss understand what was done to the patient and everything was fine and she was in good condition to leave. Next up is an older man that says to me "It feels like I'm not firing on all of my cylinders a times". I tell Mr. Regal that it seems like his filtering devices aren't working properly. "Your lungs and kidneys are not filtering correctly", the man looks at me with a blank look on his face, I try to explain it to him in a simpler fashion. "You see, your body is like a car, the air filter acts like your lungs and the fuel filter acts like your kidneys". A little spark in his head goes off as he begins to understand me, "There is a process that we can clean out your lungs and replace one of your kidneys with an artificial one". He consults with his family and agrees to do the operation. Three hours later the operation is over and Mr. Regal is recovering just fine in another room. I spoke with him about an hour after the operation and he said he was indeed "firing on all cylinders now" with a smile on his face. 3:30 rolls around and it looks like my last patient is being rolled in. A mid-forty aged Asian man named Mr. Avalon tells me he is suffering from severe abdominal pains and constipation. I tell him to lay still as I examine him, I am able to find a restriction in his digestive system. I tell Mr. Avalon that we must take him to a digestive specialist because we are not trained in that field. I call our ambulance driver Dr. Ball and explain that this patient needs emergency exhaust work done to him. We are able to get the pinch out of his exhaust system and the constipation and pains were gone. I find it to be a very special feeling to be able to find a problem in something as complicated as an automobile and then being able to repair it. I am not a Doctor for humans, but a Doctor for cars. Just call me Dr. Ford.
Posted by M@who at 11:03:00 PM